Thursday, June 18, 2009

CRISIS OF CONFIDENCE

On Tuesday, as I was preparing for the show yesterday, I lost my bottle. I didn't feel comfortable about my clothing and didn't think I wanted to show under the particular judge. I almost didn't go.

I know this appears not to be the case, but I am a shy person and always have been. I just have a very good act that has got better over the years. I am much better than I was, of course I am, but there are days I just want to hide. Tuesday was one such day. How could I have the nerve to dress that way? I used to be dull wallflower, blending into the background. My dress sense now hardly allows me to hide myself!

Wednesday, yesterday, the show was great. It was cold and wet, again! The big black mark against to society was the toilet facilities. One set of men's, women's and one disabled, all over the far end of the showground! I took to peeing behind the marquee. as common as that is, I had no choice. I drink a lot and pee a lot cos of the drugs I take and the loo was just too far away.

My IBS caused an annoying/embarrassing/funny moment. My guts had been calm but then started to grumble. I was surrounded by people so I got up and walked out of the marquee, stood well away from anyone, and let one off. Then a lady, who is nice and whom I like, came up to ask if I was alright standing there on my own!!!!! all I wanted her to do was go away. I didn't even have a dog with me to blame it on! Not only that, I realised this was not just wind and I was going to have to take the trek over to the loos. I had no one I could ask to come help me get re dressed so it was all a bit of a palaver. I was most surprised because I had taken morphine the night before and that normally stops any movement for about 36 hours. Damn! So I can't guarantee I won't need to go at dog shows anymore.

Whitney won her class, then went on to win the Challenge Certificate (Best Bitch) and then went Best of Breed. Later in the Utility Group(where all the Best of Breeds of this group compete) she was placed Group 4. THAT is a big deal too.

I am really glad I went. (Oh and despite my concerns about my clothing, I had loads of compliments yesterday, more so than usual. Weird how when I feel like hiding, I get so much positive reinforcement.)
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