I managed to get John to talk to me. After a while he started to talk about when he was mugged earlier in the year. Suddenly his behaviour since then has made sense! I am really surprised I had not realised myself. The trouble is the PTSD behaviours that I have are so much a part of me now that neither of us consider them a problem and my moods are no longer volatile. I am still somewhat taken aback though that I did not recognise the symptoms in him.
The way he has been behaving swinging from bad mood to silence to hyper and being ultrasensitive. Everything about him in the last few months has not been the way he usually is.
The mugging has left him feeling very vulnerable and somewhat shocked. He is 6ft 1” and has never really had any problems physically with other people. The mugging has made him feel old and weak.
I cannot relate everything here and I will not even try but his behaviour now makes complete sense to me.
All I knew was that he was keeping something from me and when I have that feeling I find it very frightening. I am glad that I now know what it is and even more so that he has actually told me. He is like many men in that his training does not allow for free expression of his feelings. Telling me is a big deal for him.
I am not sure where we go from here. I have a feeling though that now he has spoken to me about it that things will now improve.
1 comment:
[I am not sure where we go from here]
Forward Colin, but one day at a time. John has (at last) given a reason for his behaviour, that is a positive move and hopefully will lead to him being more at ease and able to talk to you about other things.
As you say he is like many men when it comes to speaking of his feelings. Some do not consider it 'manly' but maybe weak to do so, I think it takes strength, and I think John has shown that he has that strength.
The mugging was possibly a blow to his self confidence too. Boosting that by talking can only help.
All good wishes to you both.
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