Sunday, June 04, 2006

We Are What We Think

As we think so are our lives. Not quite what we get taught is it?

Our lives are the direct result of how we think. It isn't the result of how other people think. Our beliefs dictate how our life will be. Our beliefs will dictate our behaviour. Our behaviour will have a direct bearing on our lives. What we give out we get back.

All the positive beliefs we hold will express themselves in our lives and our feelings. Likewise for all the negative beliefs we hold.

So many of us continue to lead unhappy lives because we hold dearly to our belief systems. We refuse to see differently. And we complain when our lives don't improve. We blame others for our lot. This gets us no where except to the place we already are and are trying to leave!

Bad things happen all the time to people. Loss.Disease.Pain. We can't avoid them. It is part of being human. How we react to these things is what counts.

What we believe about what happens is what makes the difference.
We cannot 'think' away disease, as some people are prone to think. The converse of that is blaming ourselves for being sick and for failing to cure ourselves. I have known people die of cancer believing they were not good enough because they had been led to believe that they could cure themselves if only they thought the right thoughts, meditated rightly, ate rightly etc. Very sad.

What we can do is make our experience different and less painful by changing our attitude and belief system.

There is no such thing as sacrifice.

Everything we do directly affects us. If we 'give up' something of value to us in order to gain benefit, where is the sacrifice?


An example comes to mind.

People regularly talk of sacrificing careers in order to stay at home and bring up children. First it is a choice one makes. Secondly, both children and carer benefit beyond measure. The idea that one 'suffers' in order to bring up children is ridiculous.

Having children is a choice. Choosing to not have a career but raise them is not suffering or sacrifice. Fancy giving children this idea! That their carers have suffered in order to give them a good life.
What a lie!

Everything we do or think or have has a down side as well as an upside. I keep dogs. The upside of that is they give me much joy. They force me to get out of bed on days when the physical pain is really bad. They force me to think of the welfare of something else. The down side is that I have to pick up dog doo, bath and groom and spend money at the vets! It also means I cannot have the home I would have without the dogs-spotless, expensive furniture etc. But I did not 'sacrifice' these things in order to keep dogs. It was my choice and by my choice, I gained. for many years we could not go away because of the dogs. We accepted that. We didn't see it as 'sacrifice' but choice. Now we have a found a good and trustworthy dog sitter and we can go away.

So don't be fooled by those who cry 'look what I gave up for you'. They are mistaken. Don't you be mistaken too!

We are not here to please anyone. We are not here to be what others want us to be. We are not here to please our parents, our neighbours, our siblings, our teachers, our churches. We are here to grow and be ourselves. Becoming ourselves is lifelong battle and the hardest thing anyone has to do. Why? Because everyone else will do all they can to prevent you being you!

Don't let them!

7 comments:

All the Way With Knitting said...

Well said Colin..when I had Holly I wanted to stay at home it was no scarifice ( far from it) it was scary at times ( I was a nervous Mum ). I loved the books ,the paints ,the mud trailed in from the garden by Hols and the cat .It was an enriching experience to say the least .I grind my teeth often over some woman talking about scarificing her career .Your beautiful dogs must enrich so many lives along with your own .I still love staying at home .I'm my own boss and I enjoy cooking for Jeff as I realise his work is often tedious but gives me this wonderful freedom.

Beverley said...

I kind of stay at home to take care of our daughter, I work part-time, so mostly she leaves for school and I am here, returns home and I am here still! I have in the meantime been out to work, mornings only, and term time only trying to build the self-esteem of other kids. I realised a long time ago, mostly from my own experiences of having any self-esteem beaten out of me at an early age, that the way to get through to a 'difficult' (the schools terms not mine!) child, is to encourage and build their self esteem, its amazing what can be achieved in a very short period of time. I consider myself to lead quite a simple life, I am not rich, but compared to others in other parts of the world I live like a millionaire! I have running water, a toilet that works (2 infact!), food in my cupboards and fridge, clothes for me and my family, a telephone, tv, computer, a car! I am a very rich person indeed, and at the risk of sounding a real nut, I have a family that I enjoy and appreciate every day.

I believe in simple things, don't promise what you know you can't deliver and behaviour breeds behaviour (if you act like a complete arse to someone you mustn't be surprised when they act the same way back!)

deborah said...

my brother read 'You Can Heal Your Life' by ....some woman, years ago when he had been diagnosed as being in renal failure. He and my mother convinced themselves that if he could only believe ENOUGH that his kidneys would get better, they would . Of course, this did not happen and he then had to struggle with this 'belief' not having been ~strong enough~....a personal failure!

I do think that in their case the problem was the way they chose to interpret the idea presented. (Free will, innit!) I eventually managed to get him to see that the way to 'heal his life' was to be found in HOW he approached his illness and can only say how incredibly proud I am - and always will be - of the way he subsequently dealt with it. But not everyone has a bossy big sister who is like a terrier after a rat in the face of a problem!!!!!

colin said...

the author is Louise Hay and I have a lot of problems with this book. I think it is shit mainly!

Cherry Rolfe said...

I have reservations but I do believe there is something in the theory held by Louise Hay and many others. It isn't about belief, it's about root. It can be too simplistic, and if it induces guilt rather than empowerment, that is a bad thing, but if you can work through some issues some ailments do dissipate. That is not the same as saying if you are suffering its all your fault and all you have to do is realise that and it will go away. Its about tackling unresolved pain and anger and has wrought phenomenal and empirical changes in my life.

colin said...

I agree with you that we can cause our own ill health by our thinking-obesity is one obvious one.

However, I find her book simplistic, damaging and it encourages an unhalthy way of thinking -that we have control where do not.

For exmaple she says AIDS is a disease brought about by gay people as an expression of their self hatred. I find that offensive and entriely ignorant. Especially as AIDS is far far more prevelent in the heterosexual population.
bw
colin
ps a dear friend of mine, who was alovley, compassionate, peaceful person died of pancreatic cancer. She did not bring this on herself!

Jeangu said...

Colin, I read this in the morning and came back this afternoon for a second dose. If you won't mind I will print this and pass it on to my 22 year old grandson. His life is to overwelming at this time for him to cope. He does not have any real physical problems, only mental blocks!Last week he took an overdose because to him life is to hard. We have tried to tell him about making choices and accepting responsibility for them. This is the true nature of life. I wrestle with the fact that some people "get it" while others never will!
You truely GET IT---Peace to YOU!
Jeangu