THREE COUNTIES 2011

I had a good day at the show yesterday. I met and chatted with people I like. We had a terrific thunderstorm just as the judge was placing us in Junior Bitch, which Mary-Grace won.(I was very pleased, as at 3 ch shows running show was was 2nd!).

 

My friend Gavin Roach very kindly took all of my stuff inside for me.What impressed me the most was his realising that there was no way I was going to be able to do it, and certainly not before I was soaked through. I did not have to ask for help. He just gave it.

 

The people I have previously written here about, those I had been friends with for 30 years, were there. 'Hello' was all they managed. Not that I wanted any more. I had difficulty controlling myself. My hands were shaking with anger. I called upon my resources and meditated and got into the zone with my knitting. I was NOT going to let rip! They are not worth it and I will be the one who comes off looking the guilty, not to mention nuts, party. I am still totally shocked at their disgusting behaviour. The fact I was so wrong about them, well her mainly, still shocks me.

 

I know I keep writing shock but I cannot think of another word. I would never have thought she was such a nasty piece of work. Never. I was fooled thoroughly. I let myself be used for far too long by someone who was an expert manipulator. Far from being the kind mentor I had thought, she used everything she learned about me to keep me in line and to her advantage. Pc's sewing machines, animals, money. Yes I gave them all.

 

I am relieved though that this is over. For years I had this awful argument going on inside me: one telling me the true nature of our friendship and the other side castigating me for being so wicked as to think such a thing about kind people. The argument was just exactly the same as the inner turmoil the childhood abuse caused me. John wanted me to ditch them years ago because he saw them for what they were but I argued against him. How wrong I was. John loves me and he saw what was happening. I ought to have trusted him instead of them.

 

Now they have shown their true colours and I am free of them. My emotions about them will sort themselves out and it will no longer be an issue. For now it is but in a way I have not felt before. In the past, the me who felt everything was my fault, would have been all over them wanting their approval. Instead I am livid with them Absolutely lived.

 

This too shall pass.

 

I learned yesterday too about my meeds and food. I have to force myself to eat. The trouble is, the combo of the stress of the show (good stress), the getting up really early, my meeds, and just being in a fun place, decreases my appetite. The drugs do too. I was fine until the several hours after my last dose of drugs and I was home: I got hyper. I now realise this was a combination of the days emotions, the lack of food and my meds. The lack of food mainly. I am going to have to try and make myself eat. It is not easy to do that when one is grateful to not feel hungry! Yet I really don't like being high either. Reminds me of a manic episode. Especially when the really hyper was not until 5-6 hrs after my last dose of pain killers.

 

The photographs were taken by Gavin Roach, fellow Lhasa Apso breeder. he and his wife Mary are very nice people. It was Gavin who made sure my stuff and I were safely ensconced indoors out of the storm.

Posted by Knitman

CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE TURD KIND

This day has probably been one of the worst for quite some time.  I feel about as mobile and heavy as a tonne of lead.

Not to belabour the point but my insides have embarked on a radical spring cleaning program.  It sort of threatened to do so yesterday but I thought I had got away with it until I had been up for about an hour. Then all hell broke loose, so to speak. Having spent the morning enjoying the view from the Throne room all seemed to settle down.  Until this evening that is.

I had already taken the decision to only take essential medications today.  Whether or not this has helped I do not know. It could well be the very bland diet today. Either way, movements this evening do not seem so rapid.

I can only hope that by tomorrow this spontaneous colonic irrigation will have run its course and I will also feel much less like a lump of lead.  I have Mary-Grace to prepare for the dog show on Friday.  I will take plenty of morphine on Friday which will prevent further unwanted irrigation.

No!  I have not been near any German, Spanish, or any other nationality, cucumbers.  Before you ask.  And no, I do not have any other bug, condition, or syndrome, or anything that any new-age guru would be remotely interested in and I’m quite certain they would not have written about it so I do not need to be directed to any websites that will cure this problem.  It will go away of its own accord.  And it will come back of its own accord.  Yes, the more or less instant cure is rather large doses of morphine but that has its own drawbacks besides which I’d rather use it to deal with pain whilst it still does and not hasten my tolerance to it by treating my unwanted gut motility.

ADA AND MARY-GRACE AT MLAA 10 04 2011

Mary-Grace                                          Ada

 

ASTONISHED

I have been completely overwhelmed by it all of the kind messages I have received about Nechung.  Quite literally hundreds of them.  It goes to show how many people love dogs. The kind words that people have expressed have been very welcome and I thank all of you.

I have not yet got used to her not being here and the house definitely feels different.  It could be my imagination, but Luque seems to miss her.

On Sunday evening, which is when the we more or less knew that we would have to take her to the vet for the final time, Luque had growled at her, something he has never done before.

When I returned from the vet without her he looked behind me and then had a long sniff of me.  Since then he has been very quiet and he sleeps where she normally slept.  When he comes to bed with me he has not been doing his usual dancing about.

Her granddaughter, Carly, I think is pregnant.  It will be another 10 days before I know for sure.  Judging from her behaviour I think she probably is. She will not leave me alone and always wants to be on my lap.

Mary Grace is also a granddaughter of Nechung but only five months of age.

BUSY BUSY BUSY

I will be spending this week, getting together the clothes I need to take with me for our trip. I am really looking forward to going away.

Yesterday I started to take 600 mg of aspirin three times a day.  The effect was almost immediate.  I feel better all over, and my feet are especially much less painful.  The trouble is, anti-inflammatories are not good for one’s heart or kidneys.  I already have CHD and higher BP.  Of course my BP is kept low with drugs.  However, I retain water very quickly (I have already gained four pounds since yesterday) and this is not good. I can only take the aspirin at these doses for five days. Anti-inflammatories need to be used as a course, just like one would with antibiotics. Hopefully this will dial down my body’s inflammation for the time that we are away.  I am already needing less of the other drugs, and the last two doses, I have not taken any morphine and have only taken half of my usual amount of tramadol.

We took Tukka and Mary-Grace into town yesterday, so that they get used to the hustle and bustle of people and traffic.  They really did very well.

I am enjoying the book, The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo.  So much so that I read for a couple of hours yesterday afternoon instead of my usual reading only in bed when I retire for the night.

I have almost finished knitting John’s socks, being well up the leg on both. He also likes one of the yarns that I cannot sell because the yarn has not been spun properly, and it is given the dye a two tone effect. Recently, John has begun to wear colour! it started with him buying colourful T-shirts and shirts, and then underwear.  Now he is wanting more colourful socks.  I am not going to complain as it is much more interesting to knit with my more colourful yarns!