Tuesday, May 15, 2012


I have not been very good at updating my blog have I? I have so much going on in my life. And now that I have started to write this I realise that I'm not going to continue. 

 I am just so exhausted today. However, I have not forgotten about this blog nor its purpose. I am writing this mainly for my fellow survivors who come to this blog just to know that there is someone else out there who gets where they are and how they feel. 

I am never going to stop writing about abuse and the effect that it has on the world in general but on survivors particularly. 

Just be aware that for now, I just do not have the energy. Not only is my disease more rampant right now, but we are also having major renovations done to our house and we also have our wedding coming up in July. 

We are having to leave our house on Monday for a week because I physically cannot be here whilst they rip out the kitchen and put in a new one and ditto for the bathroom. 

 I'm not complaining, I am very happy with everything that is going on but I did not realise the toll it would take on me. 

 My dogs are not here for the 2nd time during this renovation and they will stay away until the 26th at the earliest. 

I hate being without my dogs. As any survivor will understand, change is difficult for us to deal with, even good change like this. I have been very tempted to scrap the whole idea and just making do! 

The changes we are making are not just to give us more space but to make the house safer and more disabled friendly. 

 Anyway, I will be back to my normal self and my normal posting regime but it might be a couple of months. 

 One thing I have just realised is that I feel a certain sense of responsibility towards my readers who are survivors. When I first started writing my blog I was doing so purely for myself and it never occurred to me the effect it was going to have on other people. I feel very privileged but it does have a positive effect on others and for this reason I feel a responsibility to continue to share. I do not forget though how much sharing does for myself so I am not fooling myself into thinking that I am doing this for purely altruistic reasons! Absolutely not. It is a great service to myself. I am only grateful that others find it of use as well.


Anita said...

Take care of yourself Colin - will look forward to your return.

Georgina said...

Darling Colin - your first duty is to yourself and we will be here awaiting your wisdom and compassion, when you have taken the time you need - nothing is more traumatic to someone who survives than to have the home (whatever that means) that they build for themselves upset, so all this upheaval will be traumatic - but it will end, and you will come through the trials into the beautiful world you have created with and for your husband. Your wedding too is for you and him and if your guests have to have a street party, and camp in neighbours gardens, it will be the most joyous party ever held. Love to you.