Monday, February 20, 2006

Blast From The Past

and things were going so well.....

I got an email this morning re another list I had been a member of for 8 years but left a year ago.

I had made a dear friend on the list with whom I communicated regularly for 8 years, phone calls too.

She died June 12th 2004. She had been like the sister I had never had. A truly warm and lovely person, honest, sincere, patient, non judgemental. One of the things we spoke about was how the list we were on was not as it seemd and how she only had regular contact with me and one other person. I telephoned almost daily until two days before she died.

I was en route to Sweden the day she died. I never heard from anybody regarding this. I learned it via the list we had been on, i think, or an email sent to many people. Suddenly everybody it seemd loved her and was her good friend. To this day, no one has ever contacted me or even acknowledged the friendship we shared. I know there were tributes sent, written, devised. I found out later. Whilst I felt left out of the loop, I know that nothing will alter the friendship we shared and I know she is with me still in spirit, watching over me and the family she adored.

She was a most fantastic mother. She had her challenges and she met them face on. Her only regret about her dying was leaving her children. I cannot imagine how that was for her.

She was such a brave loving soul who knew herself well and tried her best to know and understand others. I miss her, she was safe harbour for me.


angie cox said...

That is so sad Colin...I do hope that if not we then the good things we do go on and as I have seen an angel myself when in great distress I kinda hope it was the Grandma I never knew. It isn't necessary to believe in Heaven to be a Quaker ..a more eclectic group I can't imagine .I am sure everything your friend gave you lives on in you .Angie

Beverley said...

Its strange but sometimes we 'meet' people in the strangest way and for the most unusual reasons and that friendship however brief becomes very important. Be safe in the knowledge that you did meet her even if only for a brief while.

I met a lady at a job I did for a while and absolutely hated. In all the people there, she was the one I got on with best. She and I both hated our jobs and talked about digging escape tunnels and laughing together in the brief moments we met while making a coffee in the kitchen. She told me about her three children, how proud of them she was and eventually about her husband who had died a couple of years befire. She had come to this country from Africa and married her husband when she was very young. I left my job eventually and not long after received a text message to say that Abi had been admitted to hospital and things were bad. Then before i could make it to the hospital I heard she had died. I went to her funeral, it was heartbreaking. To see her kids so proud of their mother and so strong. The family all dressed in white as is the tradition with African funerals. Her brother who had flown in along with Abi's Mother, led the service. Things happened so fast i never found out if her children stayed in this country or went back to Africa with their Uncle and Grandmother. I will never forget her, she was an amazing person, I feel truly blessed for having been her friend, if only for a moment.

Julie said...

It seems that often things are just "meant to be", and so am agreeing with Beverley in the above post.

It was a lovely friendship that you shared, and nothing, ever can take that away -- not the silence of some, not the ignorance of others, not the apathy of so many. You obviously cherished each other and that is the knowledge that warms your thoughts in those lonely moments when no one is around.

I have met some of the most incredible people on this planet via the internet, and I count them the most cherished of friendships, even though we have never met face to face. Confidences exchanged, life experiences shared, tears cried, pain washed away, dark moments healed through the most tenuous of connections via a modem. Who would have thought!

The best thing that you can do for your friend, as you are so obviously doing, is remember her ... and tell others about her, so that we may remember her through you. Thanks Colin.