Wednesday, August 25, 2010

HIGH MAINTENANCE

Today has not been good. I detest being high maintenance.It embarrasses me. Apart from the incident with the nasty Police who nearly caused us to crash at high speed, EVERY meal I have ordered has been smothered in SUGAR!!!!!

We have never driven this far east in Germany before and it seems they have a thing for sweet dressings on everything. I thought I was safe with chicken and veg or salad or steak and veg/salad. No. All came smothered in sweet dressings. Tonight I managed to get the chef to understand I wanted NO DRESSING at all on any part of my meal.

This is now Dresden. Not gone well so far. Hotel NOT as advertised, NOT anywhere near centre, NO facilities other than food and WiFI. Room not a/c so humid. No way for wheelchair to enter except thru basement.  All I wanted to do was go home but of course no way can I do a long drive again for at least a couple of days.

I am learning more about how my disease is progressing. I am really upset tonight. I hate that John is affected by it, it really p's me off to be dependent and limited. We are really going to have to think thru future trips. Like I think I need two days of no driving between each drive, not one. I am just blathering on now. I just came close to,losing it earlier and just felt ashamed of myself and my needs. It would be so much easier if 1. pain killers also stopped fatigue and 2. if I could eat grain/pulses/sugar. Given the choice, I choose to keep the disease and get rid of the food allergies. It really f8cks me off. It would be so simple to just order what was on the menu. For John and for me. Poor John gets upset too when he realises I am not being catered to and he does his best for me. I just wish he didn't have to, that it could all be stress free.

At the lunch restaurant, up a long flight of stairs, there was a locked lift for handicapped. The only way to use the lift was to go UP the stairs to get the f8cking key! Morons. Every handicapped loo was locked at every stop. THEN THEY SMOTHERED MY FOOD IN THAT SUGAR DRESSING.

When one is driving several hundred miles, one can hardly just say 'hey, let's just try the next place.' No idea where to will be or what it will be like. Tomorrow we will eat out of supermarkets. John refuses to not join me in that which makes me feel bad. I know it's cos he loves me but really I wish he would eat normally. I KNOW he would prefer to sit in a restaurant and eat a meal and not eat out of plastic bag in the hotel room. Do I sound ungrateful? I am not, just feeling shamed at having this damned condition.

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