NEW PARAMETERS (Bugger!)

Damn bother blast.i collapsed at pool. home feeling okay but waiting now for Doc. my legs gave way and i felt very trembly all over. about 15 mins I guess till i staryted to fee; okay again. staff saod i was 'white as shhet' but i only knew i felt feint and weak and wobbly. iam getting very fed up with all this juggling drugs, mobility, food etc. it realy p's me off but i can't just fuck it and take to by bed for the rrest of my ife.

I saw the Doc and she agreed with the pool staff (and me) that I had a hypo. It seems I still cannot eat carbs without risking one. No, I am not diabetic. No I have nothing wrong with my pancreas, thyroid or stomach. I just produce too march insulin in response to sugar, hence the reason I was so fat and tired until I went low carb, lost a 100lb and generally felt better. So it seems even complex carbs, like oats, does it for me. So back to low carb. The aspirin is okay too, for a couple more days only of course. Neighbours was upsetting today only because of Rhys mother, young and wheelchair bound, not even able to move neck. They told us what was wrong with her today and I had expected MS or MND but it is spinal degeneration-one of my problems. I needed that after already feeling down. BUT it is why I keep mobile as much as I can. My Aunt Jessie was like her, supports all over, in a wheelchair. I am putting that off as long as possible. It is a matter of finding a balance. I will rest Tuesday and swim the following day.

i knew there was good reason to hide out in my changing room until the hypo went away because the staff would have insisted I drank sugar-which would only have exacerbated it. I f had been home, I'd have eaten cheese although today just told me to do nothing and it will right itself.

Well I am going to do nothing at all today. Stay in, watch telly (DVDs), quality time with dogs. Kitting. Listening to music. Twaddle on here. Re-adjust myself yet again to the new circumstances and possibilities. Allow myself to feel sad about it. Gain strength again to say well f*ck it! I am going to live and live well despite it. The constant parameter change can be overwhelming and frustrating but once I get the change, I can deal with it. I am lucky. I am not totally incapacitated. I know of someone twenty years older with same and they still walk if little, but not wheelchair bound. I feel I ought to apologise for not being my smiling self and banging on about this but writing is the way I assimilate. Thru writing I answer myself because I write what I didn't know I thought or I write an idea I had not thought about. At least, yet again, the low carb route has shown itself to be my only option and the only route my Dr says is open to me. So i can stop believing very effing thing I read. Of course I could have taken that article and had a large protein breakfast. This is what I do when on holiday. Always a large protein breakfast-eggs, sausages, salami, mushrooms, cheese. I then am not hungry until the evening meal.
I ma taking my muscle relaxants today and I will have a take care day. You will have a good day too. You have permission to have fun and enjoy it. xo

DELIGHTFULLY WEIRD

I am very pleased with the results of taking the anti-inflammatories.  By the second dose I was in much less pain.  Today is my third day on them and I cannot believe how well I am doing and how well I feel and how my mood has improved.  It would appear that my mood of the last few weeks was being caused by the amount of pain I was in!

It is very difficult to explain that when one is in 24/7 pain it can be very difficult to know just how severe that pain is. It is not acute pain like when you break a bone. It is much more like toothache which just gets worse and worse and worse and because it is always there one loses awareness of it but that does not mean one does not feel crap!

I have been taking more medication and worrying about that even though I have been told that I ought not to worry and to take as much morphine as I need.  It is easier said than done.

Anyway as soon as I started to take the anti-inflammatories I halved my intake of tramadol and have only taken morphine twice.  And my mood is back to its normal positive self.

The downside is that I cannot take anti-inflammatories for longer than one week! Drugs like aspirin, Ibuprofen, Nurofen, etc are DANGEROUS.  For everybody.  They can damage your kidneys and your heart.  They also increase the likelihood of stroke.  They need to be taken as a course just like antibiotics in order for their anti-inflammatory property to work.  So when I have finished this course I will not be able to do this again several months although hopefully the effects will last for quite some time before I am back to where I started.

I went swimming this morning and I did not take any morphine beforehand because I did not need it.  However, much to my surprise my swim was very difficult I felt as if I were swimming in treacle and my left arm went numb which I have not experienced the quite some time.  Still, it is better than pain.  My neck felt strange when I got out of the pool and 30 minutes ago I had to pop a morphine pill because my neck have become really painful and I was not able to move it! I think that is weird! The neck problem and my left arm going numb was one of the very first symptoms I ever experienced years ago now which alerted me and my doctors to my problem.

Bodies are very strange things!

Before I forget, I dyed five hanks of yarn yesterday afternoon. Not only was I able to do it without pain but I also felt really motivated to.  All this because of the humble aspirin!