Tuesday, March 05, 2013


I have the puppies to vaccinate today at 4pm. I am lucky that I have a vet who is a personal friend, Cere Vidal. She is lovely. Dumbo here did not realise that when she left the local practice she had moved to an independent surgery just 20m away. I only found this out when we spent the day together recently and had lunch in the place we had our wedding dinner. So now she is who I go to. She is Spanish. It is one of those occasions I really wish my mum had brought us up bi-lingual. Cere speaks excellent English it just reminds me that i missed out on another language. I have no aptitude for languages as an adult. I've tried.

I fell asleep last night right here in my computer chair. My balance was terrible last night too. It seems okay this morning.

The sun is shining and I have plenty to do today. Nothing I have to do except go to the vet. So I think I shall design and set up DAK8 on the new PC. I have to say that I really quite impressed with W8. I have had no trouble with it. the Samsung PC is easy to use. It is touch screen and mouse controlled. Easy to find stuff.

I am not going to lie and say I feel on top form today. I don't. It is just these days though that the mental work I have done, the positivity, comes into play. In the past days like to day would have been spent miserable and in bed or raiding the fridge. Instead, I accept today is not my best, do what i can do, like play with the PC and knit. Keeping in mind that this will not last and that there are those far worse off.

This isn't mental gymnastics. Nor is it denial or whistling in the dark. it's true. YOU decide what to dwell upon. What you dwell upon tends to grow. So if I dwell on my body and how unfair it is that I have this damn disease the result will be misery and a person not fun to bea around. So instead I dwell upon the truth: I have a wonderful husband, my dogs, good friends, the ability to use my mind, my creativity-I can hand paint yarn when i physically can-I can knit, I can read. i have so many interests and not enough hours each day. (I could dwell upon how I can't do all I want to do). 

So you see, it isn't lying to one's self nor is it a mental game or trickery. It's the truth. you can decide what to dwell upon. the negative of the positive. It isn't what soem New Age guru's cruelly teach people-that they can cure their disease by thought and either overtly or covertly blame people for their diseases. no. This is dealing with what actually is and deciding which of the two choices-negative or positive-we will choose at any given time. Choosing the positive will make your life easier. it won;t make you rich and it won't cure you of all your ills. It will just make you happy despite the crap. (I know a person who always thinks on the negative. She always moans and it is always her so hard done by and nothing is ever her fault, always others. Well, within a year of being diagnosed with the same disease, she is permanently in a wheelchair and totally dependent and still blaming everyone and still moaning. Perhaps a change in attitude would have made no difference to the progression of her disease but it most certainly would have made her and those around her happier.)


Anita said...

Thank you Colin. This post is just what I needed today. I am having a hard time dwelling on the positive in a situation I currently find myself in.

marsha said...

Admirable outlook Colin! Statement of fact is NOT whining....there is a difference!

Hope tomorrow is better!