THEY ARE OUT TO GET ME!!!!

I am having a good break here in Germany. Am writing this room our hotel room in Nuremberg. We arrived here about 2pm and will be here all day tomorrow and night, leaving for Mannheim on Sunday.

The drive here was atrocious! Very very wet. It rained so hard we had to slow to 20mph and could not see in front at all. The last time I experienced rain like that was in 2002 when we drove to Barcelona. Fortunately, by the time we got here to Nuremberg, the sun was out.Tomorrow the forecast says it will only be 14c!(but dry). As long as it is dry, its okay.

I just don’t know what it is with some people. Why do they feel they can judge a person they do not know? Write to them, telling them what they think or telling them how to live or to think? I get such emails frequently. I just deleted two people off my friends list on Facebook. For two different reasons. The first because they showed they had no respect for me by continuing to send me propaganda regarding their political beliefs which I had asked them not to do. I could live with not agreeing, one has to, but not with disrespect. If one doesn’t have respect for me, then one can f*ck off!

The second person was even more unbelievable. I do not even know who this is  (as I don’t the one above either but she seemed to know me so I never said I didn’t recall her!). Anyway, she wrote on my wall that she thought I was the type of person who thought everyone was out to get me and I was negative. Clearly not a person I want in my life. Mainly because they have not taken any time to assess their own point of view. If they had they would know that their point of view was way off base. Anyone who knows me, knows I am an optimist and generally happy, despite the odds!

It is not often that I whinge on about my day to day living problems, 24/7pain and the challenges presented by disability. Not even the boorish ignorant behaviour of my fellows. There are of course exceptions and when I have had enough I let rip here. This makes me human not a negative, miserable paranoid individual who thinks you are all out to get me!

It seems to me that this person has issues, which they do not recognise, and instead choose to offend others by projecting their crap onto them. That is what I think though of course cannot know as I don’t know them and only have their impudent messages to me to go by.

Whatever the root cause, I will not accept the unacceptable and I will not have people in my life who disrespect me. To write to me, not knowing me, and judging me is disrespectful! I don’t do that and do not expect others to do it to me.

I really, really, really enjoy the type of trip  we are on. I love to see knew places. I find people fascinating. I have this feeling, which i have tried to express to John unsuccessfully, about how I feel sad that I will leave this world with only having met a tiny fraction of the people in it and knowing NOTHING about all but a few. As it type this I am aware that there are people living a luxuriously wealthy life materially, that others are barely living at all, that others are living in the wilds of Borneo and the Amazon, happy and healthy, with none of what I would consider necessary! I see people in the hotel in the breakfast room and I want to know about them. I want to know the people I see on tv who live in mud huts in a jungle somewhere. All of us seem very different but I know we are not. We all FEEL.

I have as usual taken many photographs. I will blog them once home.

I have been knitting my aran sweater whenever we have stopped to eat or drink. I have had many comments. It is wonderful to know that even when one cannot understand the language one can still get meaning over. I have had Germans, Italians, and unknown tell me how much they like my aran and how they are impressed by the small gauge. When i show them the socks on the needles, they all look very puzzled! Toe up? One needle? Are you Martian? I learned from one German lady in Koblenz that my way of knitting is called Catholic! I do get quite a kick meeting other knitters and knowing that they do just as I do-approach other people who KIP, regardless of how their partners may feel about it! ;-)

I have not bought any yarn at all so far and am unlikely to though I am planning on buying from a source of undyed/white sock yarn if it is still there at this German place I know.

I have finished The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and am now reading the second novel in the trilogy, The Girl Who Played With Fire. I have really enjoyed the books but I don’t the ‘heroine’s’ behaviour acceptable at all. I am not sure why the author has drawn a character like this as an abuse survivor. To me she is not a survivor because she lacks empathy, is cruel, is condemnatory, and behaves with impunity, excusing her self according to others’ behaviour. This is a VICTIM not a survivor. She uses people. She is very clearly damaged and it is probable that her lack of empathy is down to her abuse BUT don’t make her a heroine because of it.  (Perhaps my current opinion will change as I read on and get to the end of this trilogy. I hope I am given cause to reappraise her and the author of her.) Other than my distaste or this character, I am enjoying the books immensely. Real page turners.(Oh one mistake-he says of a character that her Asian looks are from her Hong Kong mother and her blue eyes from her Swedish father. This is not genetically possible UNLESS the mother carries the recessive blue eye gene and she could only do that if one of her ancestors was blue eyed. Not likely. He also says she has dimples where her parents do not and, whilst not 100% sure, as far as I know if one has dimples(chin etc) then one parent must also have them.)

I have been managing pain and pain meds well on this trip, which makes a big difference. I am resting enough. I have learned that Barcelona is probably, realistically, far too far for me to drive in 2-3days. After driving 317 miles after a day of no driving on this trip, I was very tired, sore and distraught. I get distraught when I am exhausted and sore and not eating right as well. Barcelona is 1000 miles and I would need 5 days to drive there with adequate rest. Just writing it seems silly to me, I have done it in one and half days before..but my disease has progressed way beyond that no matter how I may tell myself otherwise! Stubborn sod that I am.