Friday, December 10, 2010


I managed to get John to talk to me.  After a while he started to talk about when he was mugged earlier in the year.  Suddenly his behaviour since then has made sense! I am really surprised I had not realised myself.  The trouble is the PTSD behaviours that I have are so much a part of me now that neither of us consider them a problem and my moods are no longer volatile.  I am still somewhat taken aback though that I did not recognise the symptoms in him.

The way he has been behaving swinging from bad mood to silence to hyper and being ultrasensitive.  Everything about him in the last few months has not been the way he usually is.

The mugging has left him feeling very vulnerable and somewhat shocked.  He is 6ft 1” and has never really had any problems physically with other people.  The mugging has made him feel old and weak.

I cannot relate everything here and I will not even try but his behaviour now makes complete sense to me.

All I knew was that he was keeping something from me and when I have that feeling I find it very frightening.  I am glad that I now know what it is and even more so that he has actually told me.  He is like many men in that his training does not allow for free expression of his feelings.  Telling me is a big deal for him.

I am not sure where we go from here.  I have a feeling though that now he has spoken to me about it that things will now improve.

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