Friday, August 03, 2007

Power - less

I have had particularly bad pain for many weeks. Last Sunday when John were out listening to a talk, I could have cried the pain was so bad.

I awoke Monday to find it had all gone. Oh, I still creak, snap, crackle and pop and can't walk far but the bad pain just stopped.

During this time my hands have been fine and I have knitted a lot. Now the bad pain in my hips and limbs has abated, my hands are acting up again!

I also discovered that my mood is definitely affected by my pain levels. DUH! Yes, well I hadn't really made the connection. Denial is not always a bad thing you know.

On Monday I noticed my mood was better and by Tuesday it was definitely up. So being relatively pain free improved my mood.

I also realised that when I am suffering a lot, there is no point in trying to figure out why or think about what I might have done to make it so. It just comes and goes and there is nothing I can do about it. I think by trying to find something I can pin on myself as the cause, is my way of not dealing with the fact I am powerless over this damned disease.

1 comment:

Clarisse said...

Hi Colin,
So, are you having a RA remission or are you taking some wonderful new drugs? I'm looking for a new Rheumatologist and I'm not sure what treatment I'll be needing. I had a pretty good low-pain-almost-normal life for a couple of months awhile back, but that ended about 6 months ago, I need to start treatments again. Right now I just do low dose Prednisone and Percocet, which as you know, does nothing for the advancement of the disease, but it does make life a bit more livable and all those D-mards eat holes in my stomach, so I'm not looking forward to taking those again. *heavy sigh* oh well, I'm so glad for your pain free time, it's such a miracle when they come :) It's amazing to me just how much chronic pain "colors" all of my moods, thought processes, and well, just generally everything.

Clarisse >^..^<