Wednesday, July 10, 2013


 it turned out to be a rather exciting day. I really didn't want to but I decided that I needed to go and do my swim. I got everything ready including making sure all the locks were locked and that the dogs were safely put away. It gathered together my slimming togs  and my Pepsi Max and off I went out of the door. Leaving my keys on the wrong side of the door.


What was I going to do. All of our little windows were locked. No child could possibly reach through the letterbox and upwards to where the keys hang. My friend with the spare key is one of these lazy people who works and so therefore was of no use to me whatsoever.

I called using my neighbours telephone the company that made the doors and windows and conservatory. They could not help me as all of their workers were out on jobs. However whilst talking with the gentleman I suddenly remembered that my bathroom window was open! 

Now how the hell was I going to manage to get up there with my fear of heights and ladders. My neighbour placed a ladder against the outhouse (posh shed not a toilet although there is a toilet in there.) and asked me if I was sure that it was secure. Yes it is I said because it was built when mated the rest of the house and we have just had worked men up there replacing all the guttering.

Well guess what I put my walking stick down and I climbed up the ladder myself and I got onto the roof. I opened the  bathroom window as far as it would go which is only halfway because of the security hinges. I cleared everything off the shelf and made sure that it all landed inside the shower.

And now for the real challenge. How the FAQ was I going to get in there!?  Oh I had forgotten to add that my neighbour had brought up onto the roof a step ladder. I climbed this stepladder and by holding on to whatever I could hold onto I put one leg through the window and just kept putting it through until it hit the ground. So I had 1 foot on my bathroom floor and the other foot sticking out of the bathroom window. With a little bit of fidgeting I managed to get the other foot through as well until I was stood upright and then Julienne passed me my walking stick. Of course now not only was I very shaky but very unbalanced but oh I felt so very pleased with myself. I still can't believe that I did this.

And do you know what the most important thing is? The fact that I was slim enough to get through that window! Needless to say I have not gone to my swim and I have just pilled up. I have a feeling I am going to pay for this because I can feel parts that I have not felt for quite some time. I have always had very supple legs and I can still sit in the half lotus position and I have always done so since I was a boy. No one taught me how to do it I just do it it's my natural position.

So whilst I am very disappointed I did not get my swim I am also feeling good and very pleased with myself for having done what I've done. We do have spare keys that other people have but of course they're no FAQ in good if they are out at work .

 I have a feeling that I'm going to pay for this escapade but I do not care because I feel really proud of myself. I would never have believed that I could do what I have done today.  I can feel it beginning to grumble now but all I think is well you can shut the fact up! Look what I did to get here! 


Unknown said...

Awesome! You should be proud - I sure would be.

valerieB Canada said...

Colin, you are AMAZING!!!!!!

midnightvelvet said...

Brilliant Colin! Made my day! It gave me a much needed giggle and I am very impressed that you were brave enough. I sure as hell wouldn't have been.

And you didn't need your swim after that bit o yoga did you LOLOL.

Iris said...

So, you have joined the ranks of people who break into houses. What are we to do with you? I am most impressed!

DJNL said...

OUTSTANDING!! You rock Colin!!

DJNL said...

OUTSTANDING!! You rock Colin :-)

TeriKnits said...

Oh my Gosh! I have such a vivid imagination and I am watching all of this in my head as I read through your post! This sounds like something that would happen to me actually - but the last time I remember being locked out I was lucky enough to only have to go through a doggy door on the ground floor! I am sitting here recovering from a hip surgery and it hurts me just thinking about what you went through that day! You Rock Colin!