I think I may have finally understood something important about my body this evening. When I have severe pain in my legs or my joints all the spasms in the thoracic region, this pain is obvious. It is also not so easily dealt with but it is not constant.
John and friends wonder how I can allow pain to grow to the point where I am grey and dull looking to them without my being aware of it.
I think I found out the reason for this. I was not feeling at all well earlier and I realised that I needed to take my pills mainly because I am on a new one which requires me to take every eight hours. I took the 12 pills I need to take and within 45 min I was feeling fine, just tired. It was then that I realised that it is when the pain is all over from head to toe that I don’t recognise it as pain. I just start to feel terrible. It is not until I have taken the drugs and the pain stops that I realised I was in pain. This may not make sense to anybody else but it makes sense to me.
One of the drawbacks of 24/7 pain is that one gets used to it and to a greater or lesser degree one pushes it into the background. It is a bit like the sound of a buzzer going on for hours on end that you do not hear until it stops.
This sort of pain has to be treated by regular dosing to keep it at bay and using heavier drugs on top of regular dosing when needed. The reason this is important is because pain causes damage to nerve endings and the longer it is untreated the more difficult it is to get on top of. I used to only take drugs when the pain got to a certain pitch. As a result of this, I had to take a large dose in order for it to work. Whereas now the tide take a lower dose on a regular basis, I do not need to take much larger doses, with only smaller additions when needed. For example when I swim. Any sort of strain, like dog shows, require more drugs. However even dog shows now are dealt with with less drugs in a dose than I used to take when I waited until I was really in a lot of pain.
Anyway, the whole point is I realise this evening that what I interpret this feeling unwell is actually un-centred pain, pain that is all over the body, specifically my muscles and joints all of which is connected to my crumbling spine.
I still find it difficult to take drugs when I am not in agony but I have learned that it is necessary and the reasons for it are quite logical. However, I am stubborn and I often do not take my midday dose because I am going to have a nap and I think it can wait. Then I wonder why I awake from my nap feeling crap!