PUSH, DAMN YOU, PUSH!!!

Whitney had her puppies yesterday morning after a very long first stage of labour. She actually started scratching up on Friday so I had to stay close to her from then on, sleeping on the armchair. Her temperature did not drop until Sunday afternoon and I knew then that the puppies would be born that evening. However that did not happen and she did not have her first visible contraction until 5:10 AM Monday morning. I have never had a bitch take that long in the first stage of labour. During this stage contractions are happening but they are not visible.  

The first puppy born was a full breach birth and he was very difficult to get out of her. This puppy is not going to make it. I thought that maybe he would but I now know that he isn't. Because of the trauma of his birth he was born without his placenta and umbilical cord.  Unfortunately, his bowel fell out of the hole  that this left.  although I put it all back in easily enough I really did not expect that this puppy would survive. Amazingly, the hole has healed over.  I mean skin has grown over the hole not that there is a scab.  Despite this,  he does not look or feel right and I am as certain  as I can be that he will die. 

 We have the decorators in and they are working on the two bedrooms upstairs. They have stripped all the wallpaper will be laying lining paper and then painting.

New shelving and wardrobes will be put into these two bedrooms. The two built in wardrobes in the main bedroom will be used for clothing and John will put shelving up all around the walls for my Dr Martens. I have two knitting machine setup, complete with motors because I cannot knit without them now,  and they will stay there.

 And the smaller bedroom will have wardrobes put in and this room will be used as my dressing room which will make life much easier as there will be room for a chair which I need to sit on in order to get dressed and there will be more space generally.

Having a dressing room will make such a difference to me. Dressing is one of the major challenges of my day. So much so that as much as I do not like to admit it I now do not get dressed unless I know I am going out. Not only is it dangerous for me in that I am much more likely to fall it takes a long time and is tiring! So I hang about in my "leisure outfits". These are pull on or pull over, hence they are much easier to put on. I would prefer not to be in my pyjamas all day but I would rather use the energy required to get dressed on something else.

I have learned a lot more about myself recently and about how the effects of abuse upon the psych are subtle or perhaps one could say they hide in plain sight. It has come to my attention recently how my illness and my treatment is greatly affected by the negative things that the abuse taught me.  I have only recently become aware of this. I intend to write a separate post about this. I will be listing all of the effects of my disease as best I can and also relating how the negative programming of the abuse has affected my reporting of my disease to the doctor and therefore my treatment.