Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Getting Going

I am almost finished the second sock of a pair.

Today, I have started to swatch the Yak yarn and Merino/Cashmere/Silk tweed yarn I bought in Hamburg.

My feelings have been all over the place, though nowhere near as bad as the first week. I am not struggling to cope. I just don't like it!

Today, I sorted out a dog sitter. A pleasant woman I have known for 7 years. An aquaintance really. She is kind and unassuming, in her 50's. Iasked her today and she said yes. As I was leaving, she said she did not want paying. I did not tell her anything of recent events until after I had asked what I wanted to. I thought it would be unfair to tell her first as I needed to be sure she wanted to dog sit for me and not do it out of guilt. This is only for days out of course, not holidays.

I wonder if anyone knows what this is. It is an experince I have had many times over my lifetime but last night it was very powerful and more scary. Often, as I am laying down to sleep, I hear a 'whooshing' sound in my head and I start to feel like I am being pulled out of myself. I cannot move but I am compeltely conscious. It is most unpleasant. Last night it was sudden and started by a really loud high pitched hum in my head and then the very strong feeling of being pulled out of my body and spinning. Again I couldn't physically move and I was totally conscious. I managed to 'pull' out of it and put the light on and stayed sitting up for a while.

Now I know that we all have sleep paralysis to prevent danger whilst we dream. However, I am not asleep when this happens. I also am aware that some people report leaving their body.

I am baffled by this. I have tried not to fight it and see where it leads but I always end up struggling to break the hold it has on me. I always succeed in that though it often feels like I won't. Also, when I have tried to go with it, the feeling of being dragged out and spinning gets intense.
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