DLA Tribunal

Well this was a complete waste of time. I got there and they adjourned it str8 away! One because my representative was not with me, which they knew a couple of months ago that he wouldn't be, and because they wanted more from my GP. So why didn't ask for this months ago? This has gone since November 04. Now it will be more months of waiting. I cannot walk far and then with the aid of sticks. I cannot bathe myself anymore. I use a wheelchair when out for any length of time. I can't cook unless just heating stuff in the microwave. What exactly do they want?
Also, you can tell what sort of power game they are playing. You arrive and are escorted into a large room and sat on a small chair in front of panel of three people with a large desk between us. Do they think we are all stupid or easily intimidated? Do they really expect us to not know the game they are playing?

Oh Pigs!

Tomorrow I have to go to a DLA tribunal. Despite my consultant and GP writing and confirming my disabilty and my illness, I still have to go and prove I am disabled! Quite how I do that I don't know since having clear written evidence didn't help. Perhaps when they see me hobbling on my sticks....


On the Passap E6000, UX/N, merino wool.

On The Passap E6000, BX/FX, merino wool.
On the Passap E6000, BX/FX. Merino wool.
merino wool on the Passap E6000, bx/fx.

Rain Rain Rain/Pups

Yet another wet, wet, wet day. Really horrid summer this year. Mostly cool and wet, some very hot humid days but mostly cool and wet. Not good dog days. I don't normally care what the weather is like, but rain is a pain with dogs that don't like it. So it's newspaper down for them . The pups are very full of themselves. They bark at the door when it's knocked. They howl and scream when it's time, in their opinion, for me to get up. They seem to think 5am or even 4am is reasonable. They also do the same at feed time. And if I go out, I am greeted on my return by bedlam.
Little dears that they are.

I have sign on my door requesting that sales people and charities and religous hawkers do not knock. Do they take any notice? Well, charities do. The sales people don't and neither do the Jehovah's Witnesses. why would I buy any goods, or listen to someone spout on about their interpretation of god and life, when they can't read? I just close the door, biting my tongue because I really want to say '%$£"*&^((%$£!!!!!!'

Finally finished the front. It was meant to be the back, and I forgot. The reason being is that I have two different dyelots and decided to do back in one and the rest in the other. Now it will have to the other way around!
Close up of stitch. The diamonds are created with twisted sts filled with DMS.
Neck close up, front. Same interupted rib as body.
You dare.....!
Oh leave me be!
Why are you pointing that at me?

Not as sweet as he looks. At least not at 5am when he and his litter mates think I ought to get up.

Jelly Legs

Very wet day today so I have newspaper down in various strategic places for the pups to use. They are smart and don't need telling. They are 8 weeks old today.

I was disturbed by some rowdy male voices and it made me rather nervous. However, it is just some blokes playing footy in the rain in the field behind our house. I still get nervous at these sort of nosies but since we have lived here we have had no trouble. My car doesn't get wrecked, we don't have bricks put thru our windows and I don't get assaulted. We lived with that for a number of years and is the reason we moved out of the city. So much for city people being more 'tolerant'. Where we live now is quiet, small population, a country town. I know loads of people to say Hi to and plenty are friendly. Those that are not, just ignore us. I am grateful for that. Much rather be ignored than abused.

I am having a flare of my condition. Been relatively okay for the last couple of weeks but Wednesday the pain started to impinge on my consciouness more than usual. I went to Tesco yesterday evening to get cottage cheese for the dogs and thought my legs were going to give way completely. They bloody hurt and were very wobbly. Also had a chat with one of the ladies there as I am wont to do. Now, John and I usually stop and chat to her and have done for 6 years. Well, last night she was talking about her finance problems as her husband is sick now. I said I was lucky becasue John earned good money. Her reply was 'I hope he pays you good rent since he lives in your house.' !!!!! I didn't say a word. Some people just live in a different universe.

Today, at 11.30 am I sat down for my meditation and woke up 3 hours later. Either I have grown tremendously spiritually as a result or I was knackered and needed the sleep. I think the latter. I tend to do TM twice a day. The morning one I am confident I do. The evening one I am never sure if I did it or napped for 20 minutes.

It finally dawned on me that i really am no longer able to do craft fairs. Yes, I can still deny the ramifications of my illness. However, I did come to the realisation that I cannot do the fairs anymore. Soooo....I followed the suggestion of someone and gave Ebay a go. I sold 5 sweaters. Not for much but not bad at all for a first time. Even if I only get back the yarn costs(whcih I more than did), it is at least soemthing and better than just sticking my work in a cupboard!


This was done on the Passap E6000 using UX/N and pure wool, all slightly diffrent counts(thicknesses). I 'painted' the pattern in Paint Shop Pro and then converted it.
I am rather pleased with this. It's raglan in style. The yarn is pure wool and a rusty brown. My own design, knitted with the garter carriage. Shaping with the GC does take a lot longer but I find it so worthwhile to persevere. I either hand knit or sew up whilst waiting for the shaping rows. Or I work on the PC which is next to machine.


I did the neck using the same 'interupted' rib as I used for the hems. I really wasn't sure if it would work but am very pleased with the result.

Dogs

I am Soenke. I am 6.5 weeks old.


It's mine! I WILL eat it.
We are Dharma and Alice. Dharma is the mum of the pups.
I am Tilly and I am delicate cos I am in whelp. Don't point at me!
I am Nechung. The BOSS.
I am Finty and I am one year old.

Me

yes, this is me.

Me showing friendVannessa's Mum, the joys of Addi Turbo Circular needles. Carol now wants some of her very own.

Passap Sweater

This was knitted on the E6000. I used LX/AX<>. It has set in sleeves. The design is my own, done in DAK. The yarn is 50% Merino 50% acrylic,double stranded, approx 2x 2/24's
Knit at ten 3.25/3.25 which would be the tightest it can go, for this yarn. I also used the comb and weights. I find this machine knits better when using the comb and weights, especially when doing any form of tuck stitch which the backing of this is. I also have the Wooley Weights so when the Passap comb and weights are almost to the ground, I replace the comb with WWs. The pattern is a 40 st repeat so could have been knit on Duo 80 with Deco unit. This was also the first DJ sweater I have sewn together using mattress stitch. I use mattress for most things and had wrongly assumed it would not work on DJ. As you can see, it does.
This is the 'ribbing'. It is tech 118 on the E6000 or BX<> on both beds for the Duo 80. I knit it at ten 2.75 on both beds. I find this welt is good for these sweaters, pulls in enough but not too much. It also works especially well for short welts, which I mostly perfer.

This is the first neck I have joined on the Passap. I used 3 strands to match the body weight. ten was 4.24/4,25 and in 2x1 rib. I knit the rows required and then one row of st st after transfering all sts to back bed. I then dropped the front bed and brought up the knitting between the beds wrong side facing me. I pulled the needles thru cut neck edge. I then knitted back by hand and latched off. I hand sewed tha neck cast on edge to the inside, sewing thru the stitch heels created by the joining row.

Sleeve

This is one of the 3 sweaters i am currently working on. I knit this today on the E600, lx/ax<>, using 50 merino/50 acrylic. I did the design in DAK. This is a set in sleeve sweater.

OOPS!

I find 'speaking my mind' via email so much easier than in real life. My heart still pounds but I KNOW no one is going to kill me or hurt me physically. 46 years old and I still fear that. The amount of times I was so nearly killed, luck saved me. The worst I remember, (disregarding being throttled) was having a case of books thrown at my 10 year old head and having the other side of my head smashed into an ornate cofffee table leg, very nearly killing me and then being blamed and shouted at because of course causing this to happen was my fault. From that night on I didn';t ever kiss my dad goodnight. Stupid fool was proud that i had 'grown out of it'. Did it occur to him that I hated him? That I never grew out of wanting him to hug me and love me and make me feel safe instead of making me sick with fear? It took years to give that hope up.
Well, I guess it isn't too much of a surprise to realise I have had a crappy week and my emotional state is a bit volatile to say the least. It is only just over a week since I heard of my mum's death and all that entails. I am also now having a 'flare'and in much more pain physically than usual. Even this blasted Tens thing is not helping, so walking the dogs has become too much just now.
Anyway, so what did i do? Allow some inconsequential slight to become a big thing and went to town on it on one of my lists! Oh I still think that what i think has gone on has, but I really should have ignored it. After all, it isn't really what is bothering me is it? No, even I know that! I guess when i feel in so much pain and really wound up too, I just don't find it so easy to let things go and I can make a fool of myself and make things worse. Misdirected anger and hurt don't help me at all. Yes, maybe i had a little cause to be a little annoyed, maybe. Yet I let these situations blow up and become my childhood scenarios and then people become the enemy and off I go protecting myself in such a way as to make myself look foolish! So much for not letting people live rent free in my head!
I think letting go is a process. It waxes and wains. Sometimes it doesn't bother me and other times it consumes me. Of course, my physical condition doesn't help-the more pain I am in the more i am likely to react in ways I'd rather not. So any way, once again I feel excluded from a 'select club' of people who share a common interest. They aren't a select club, it just makes me feel that way.For whatever reason my face doesn't fit. I have never been good at sucking up. I like to think for myself. Mainly cos I don't trust anyone. Another oops! Well, truth be told, I don't trust anyone. I know it isn't logical that just because those that brought me into the world were so sick and dangerous, doesn't mean that no one can be trusted but I can't bring myself to believe that. I also, paradoxically, still tend to believe that others are coming with good intentions. I don't understand why people wouldn't be. (Oh grow up!) So I still get miffed when I perceive they are not. I got into so much trouble in my past from this very mistake and I still make it! On the other hand, although I know loads of people and can't go out without loads saying Hi, I still keep myself pretty much to myself. I let very few people in and when I do, it is always by reminding myself that this too is probably a mistake but I am willing to give it a go.
Today, I sat for a while in the garden watching the puppies play, along with the adults. What joy. I am so lucky. I could just sit there and enjoy them. They are the same towards me no matter what i am feeling, how I look, what mistakes I make. Oh and I also discovered that Tilly is definately pregnant, by palpation. Next week I shall have her scanned to see how many. A good idea I find, becasue then when the labour is here, I know more or less what to expect.
Anyway, I have prattled on enough.

Knitting Boobs

I have managed to fix two boobs I made with two diffrent sweaters. The problem was the same with both-the sleeves were too long. I have reluctantly come to the conclusion that I simply must write down what I am doing, from number of rows needed to tension etc because until now I have kept it all in my head. I have also noticed other silly mistakes I make which can be put down to forgetting or getting mixed up. I don't know if this is my age or my illness! John tells me that it is age and that he now needs to write notes before he gives a lecture whereas he used to just do it. Oh dear!
Anyway, as these sweaters were just not wearable unless I found a knuckle dragger, I decided to shrink them by tumble drying. From previous deliberate shrinkings, I guessed that these two items would shrink the amount I wanted them too. They did! The sleeves are perfect length now and of course the sweaters themselves feel better.
When I knit with Cashmere, I always tumble dry. Yes, don't freak, I did write that i tumble dry Cashmere! Why you may well ask. Quite simply it brings up the loft really well. The difference in feel between the tumble dried garment and the not is very very obvious. One cannot compare the two. The tumbled one feels ever so soft and the other doesn't. Now one must take into account this when knitting your tension piece. Either knit it and then wash and tumble it BEFORE you measure the gauge OR knit it, wash and leave to dry, then measure your gauge. However, when you come to knit the garment, knit it one whole tension higher. i.e. if you knit the tension piece at ten. 4, knit the garment at ten. 5. (I knit Cashmere on the SK830(250 needles 3.6mm pitch) using 2x 2/28 weight)
Cotton can be treated the same way. Dare I say it ought to be. Cotton shrinks but only shrinks once. So you either tumble dry the swatch and the garment or you hot wash(90deg C) the swatch and the garment. After this treatment, your cotton sweater will always be machine washable and can be tumble dried every time without further shrinking.
Back to the Cashmere-once you have tumbled it, from then on it must be handwashed or washed on a 30c gentle cycle. It must NOT be tumbled or hotter washed as it will continue to shrink.
Lambswool(woollen spun) cannot be treated like the above. It will felt. So unless you want a felted piece, only wash lambswool gently in cool water.
I will write more tips when i feel like it. Perhaps on finishing knitted items as the finishing of a piece makes or breaks it. So many fine pieces of knitting are ruined by poor finishing techniques.

Pups /Knitting Room

These are the pups at 5 weeks and 2 days. They all had their first bath today. I am pleased to say they did not 'fluff' up when dry, none of them. They also took longer to dry. This, in my experience, tells me the coats are the correct hard texture.
Yesterday they went into the garden for the first time. They had a wander and all of them went over the side of the patio, under the bushes and couldn't get back up, so they whined loudly till I got down on my hands and knees and fished them out. Two
minutes later they all went back under and whined again to be rescued! This morning, first thing, they all whined to go out!

The boy pup I was drawn to at 3 days still stands out, on the move and when I bathed him. One boy reminds me of another I bred whose balance was similar. He did not turn out to be a well balanced adult and he grew too boig. this boy, like the other, has longer legs. The 3rd boy, looks promising too. One boy is a definate pet, wrong head type, goofy. The girl is hard to tell anything about. A bit of a pudding. However, my firends bitch who went on to become a fatastic example and a top winner was also an ugly duckling and she is of very similar lines. We'll wait and see.
Shoulder placement on the two boys I like seems very good. Rears also look very good.

This is my 3rd 'foreign' litter, all parents being of different lines to those here in the UK. I find it most odd that out of all those people who 'love' this breed, none have shown the slightest interest in these litters, despite an open invitation to do so. My good friends, Ken and Thelma of Piplaurie, have . They have seen all of them and show the level of interest one would expect from those whose passion has lasted a lifetime.

Yesterday was clear out day. I couldn't stand the 'stuff' all over the place anymore. My knitting room is now reasonably clear. I have thrown some stuff out and more is to go. Really dififuclt for me to clear stuff out. I tend to hoard! The main differenc eis the floor is clear, with my tools in boxes and waste in the bin!

Handknit /Abuse

Oh my, I am glad this is finished. I got very bored with it. The yarn is Marks and Katten Bomwull (50% Cotton 50% wool)which i bought in Stockholm. It has a very good drape and handle. I chose the stitch pattern for it's simplicity and effect. It is 2 rows of garter st and 2 rows 1x1 rib. This was easy to knit, except for the neck. I like to short row necks and this was not easy in this pattern. The sewing up was a PITA too as it was not so easy keeping the stripes aligned. I use mattress stitch as always(except on DJ).

I was at a meeting the other day. I got really pissed off with some person who thinks that people who abuse children should not be blamed as they did the best they could with the knowledge thay had at the time. I am sick of hearing this excuse for child abuse. We are not talking not letting a child stay out half an hour later, or saying no to some cherished want. No we are talking about people who beat their children, who have sex with them, who kill them even. There is NO WAY this can be excused or explained as them doing their best with their level of knowledge!!!
Whislt I am not of the opinion that such people ought to be hung, I also feel it is a disservice to those abused and to the abuser to make light of it, to excuse it. There is no excuse. Ignorance is certainly not a mitigating factor. Do we really need to be taught that putting cigarrettes out on a child's skin is wrong? Do we really need to be taught that yelling at a child that they are stupid, useless and evil, is wrong? Do we we really need to to taught that knocking a child out, or bruising them, or scaring them stupid is wrong? We are faced with so many problems in our world and the one cause, the fundamental cause, is ignored by most. get the rearing and loving of children right and you will solve most the ills we all suffer from. Burying one's head in the sand, making excuses, blaming the victim helps no one. Not even those who do this in order to hide form their own truth. It will never do anything to stop the suffering.
The pups are 5 weeks old today. More noisy and smelly! Mum is fed up with them, quite suddenly. She has been an excellent, very protective and until yesterday was still feeding them and I was concerned to get them weaned. Well yesterday, she just decided to stop letting them suckle which makes weaning easier. The cry for her and does see them and wash them but the second they try and suck she gets away from them. A few days ago, two of them wagged their tails at me. Very cute. They are developing nicely. Rears look good as do fronts, but as we know, such things can change for the worse as well as the better. Coats are hard and plenty of it. Pigment excellent. Eyes look to be correct shape and colour. These pups bring new lines to the UK and these include the German Tibetan Line(TL) although of course these pups are not officailly TL as they have other lines in them too. Which was the diea as far as I am concerned. Desperately needed gentetic diversity is what I was after as well as a return to real Tibetan type.
I will probably be keeping several for a long time so I can learn from them, watch how they develop. Possibly will end by keeping a boy and girl to prduce the next generation.

Cashmere/DJ/HK and Pups

100% Mongolian Cashmere. 2 x 2/28's. Tumble dried to bring up the loft. beautifully soft. Set in sleeves.
I did this on the E6000, LX/FX tech 198. It is a mix of botany, geelong, angora, and kid mohair.
This is another HK, the yarn is by Rowan but I can't recall what it is called. A wool, alpaca, acrylic mix. Very soft. Chunky weight.
This is a HK. Very simple. CB4 and then 4 sts of garter st. The yarns I bought in Oslo, Norway. PT3 and Kitten. PT3 is a pure wool and Kitten is a fine mohair. This is a chunky weight sweater. Lovely and warm for winter.
Forsell's 1 ply Botany, two fold. Done on Passap, OX/N, my own design.

Had to go to Peterborugh today to get my camera back. I was in my wheel chair. In the mall, I asked somone to excuse me, and he turned around, apologised and patted me on the head!!!! Patronizing git! There was no need ot apologise as he hadn't done anything wrong-until he patted me on the head!
My mum is constantly on my mind. I really didn't expect to feel bereft. I also only see her as she looked the last time I saw her. I haven't seen her old. It isn't her being dead that bothers me but that she had made no attempt to contact me in all those years, none at all. Parents are supposed to love their children. How sad must her life have been?
If you insist on pointing that thing at me, I'll just look away.....
i can hide just like this....
is that food?
are you mad?
Don't point at me!
I don't care what I look like.....
dead to the world....

Intarsia / Garter Stitch

This is the first handknit I started 18mths ago when I took up hk'ing seriously. I love the colours. The yarn is Rowan Felted Tweed. The handle is not good, the yarn is rough and it doesn't make sts that well. I think Rowan is much too expensive and the quality is not that good. There are all sorts of things about this garment I am not happy with. The cast on(cable cast on) and the neckline. I do not ever use cable cast on now and always use long tail. I do my necks by short rowing and I knit the collar separately and join using 3 needle method. I sew together as always with mattress stitch. Had I not faffed about and discovered how to use the finishing techniques I use with my machine knitwear, I would not have continued to HK. Oh and I knitted this with 3.25 needles. I don't know how they recommend 4mm!
This is a set in sleeve. The yarn is a wool I bought on offer-I have loads of it. Very nice feel, machine washable. I did wonder if it was wool. It shrinks if tumbled! Feels wonderful, soft next to skin. The stitch design is the same one I used on my first sweater design published in Machine Knitting Monthly.
This has a modified drop shoulder. I didn't use my own pattern but patt 477 in the machine(Bro 940). The yarn is the same wool as the pale blue sweater.


I had a good day yesterday, almost finished another HK. Today, I am armed with my electric box on my spine and am about to take the dogs out. I feel bereft today, fragile. My mum and the whole family situation is on my mind. However, I know this will pass and I still feel at peace. My emotions are just that, they will settle and my life will go on all the richer for this learning curve.