FAT BASTARD

My Facebook status today:

I don't believe it. I slept 10 hours! When I awoke I thought it was 11 until about 5 minutes ago when I noticed the mac's clock. My beautiful watch is till not easy to read thru bleary eyes! I love it though. A lot of pain this morning. I now know for sure that exercising causes it. Nothing I can do about it. I have to exercise. Not just to keep my weight down but it helps my body to retain it's strength and use. Doing nothing hurts too but in the long run it would mean me becoming weaker and weaker and less able. 

 You know, I hear people complain about the size of some people they see on mobility scooters and wheelchairs. They nastily conclude that if they were not so greedy they would not be immobile. BOLLOCKS! Any of you reading me will have realised I am sure just how difficult this is. One must have fortitude an courage to exercise when it hurts like hell. to go and exercise even though you are hurting. To go and exercise knowing that is all you will do that day and you will be paid in spade loads of pain later. And if these people do not have good and well trained in pain management Doctors they couldn't do it anyway. This last year I have gained a stone. I hate it. It is now going to be hard work to get rid of it. I will but it's hard. Gone are the days I could be rid of it in 4 weeks just like that. I have to eat less than a man my height would eat anyway just to maintain. 

Despite the exercise, I am not active the way an able bodied person is. It is also EASY when you are immobile and hurting to comfort eat. Those that really make me mad when they are judging the 'fat bastards' in chairs'who have no will power' are those saying it with a fag in their mouth. Those same people condemn drug addicts and alcoholics, all the time dropping ash all over the place and stinking to high heaven. Yes, I was a heavy smoker. I am horrified to note how much I smelled when I smoked. Yes, you smokers, you stink and washing and scent and mints make no difference. Yet this is another drug addiction that is hard to quit. I know. John and I both did it. John quit cold turkey and he was a nightmare to live with for quite a while. I cut down. I was told that wouldn't work. It did. What tipped the scales for me was not being prepared to smoke around John. 

Well I never know what will come out of my mouth when I do these statuses. I just hope that maybe we can all be a little more understanding and compassionate in 2013. There was one of those anti-bullying things that I would have posted had it not been for the last line: 'I know 99% of you won't re-post this'. The moron who wrote it clearly doesn't think that that sort of emotional manipulation is bullying! I refuse to re-post anything that has that sort of crap in it. It turns what appears to be good into something vile and sour and says something really unpleasant about the writer. I do not trust people like that. Their so called compassion is fake. Sentimentality leads to the most appalling cruelty.