Saturday, December 29, 2012


This is just the sort of hatred and ignorance disabled people have to deal with: 

 "How do they justify, getting up in the early hours, preparing their dogs the same day or the day before, and if it is a coated breed bathing and grooming for hours on end, bending over baths, twisting and turning, using back muscles, shoulder muscles, leg muscles etc etc, bending down to poop scope, spinal cords in operation here, plus supporting muscles. The exercise that is needed for a dog to be at its prime, walking or running it according to the breed, week in week out. More than a normal office worker would use. The energy to get up in the early hours, drive for miles , unload a car, load a trolley, pull a loaded trolley, sometimes over the worst terrain, push the bonds of energy and strength, not to mention a day travelling and showing at a show...... Then they run around the ring..............bend over almost to touch their toes...........and say HEY...............I AM DISABLED!! Sorry but if you can do all this you are not DISABLED or IMMOBILE!!! Does not all this sound more like the commitment of an athlete.............. Oh I forgot they are on medication. would not the same medication be able to help them work!!!! Take a look in a hospital word...........see the true disabled and immobile......" 

 Some people seem to think only those confined to bed are disabled. 

 What people see at dog shows is me on huge amounts of drugs and huge determination. Am i supposed to cry as I walk? Am i supposed to show you all just how bad it is? Then you'd hate me just the same for being miserable and an attention seeker. 

 I have to take drugs to stop the chance of a bm so that I don't need to poo at a dog show because then I'd need help to dress again. I use an electric trolley pusher now and often had people helping me. The after a dog show, I am in agony and totally exhausted regardless of the drugs. My dogs keep me going and John does a lot for me..such as getting em dressed and undressed for the show. Am i supposed to attend the show in m y pj's like I do when I go to the pool for physio? 

It takes two days to recover from a show. I have to buy my food , like veg, already prepared because I cannot safely handle knives and I use the microwave because I can't handle pots because dropping pans of boiling water is not good and that is if I could even get them on the hob. It is more expensive for me to eat. 

 Because I can't create my own heat well enough, I have to have heat 24/7 Sept to April and sometimes beyond. I shower and dress over a wet body, my pj's are all slip ons, because I can't dry myself. My dogs are bathed downstairs in the kitchen sink. John helps me by lifting them in and out. When he can't I use grit! 

 On a day to day level, I pee in a bucket because I cannot go up and downstairs that often. i have to wear pads because I wet myself because I can't feel the stream. 

 Prior to the specialised bed, I had to roll out and crash onto the floor and then use the radiator to haul myself up. 

 As it is I spend most of my time alone and indoors. Dog shows are a reason to fight, a reason to live. without them I'd have nothing. How come I spend the time on here? It helps me feel less lonely. Simple. Although I like my own company and find being with people for more than a hour or so exhausting, I still need communication. Plus there are the many emails I get from hurting people that i must answer. 

 It seems people like me need to saty at home and not have a life. We are not supposed to show grit and determination. We are only punished for it. 

 I do not want your pity. I point these things out because it is clear there is much ignorance about disability and what it means. there is also much resentment and hatred toward people like me. I am still trembling with hurt and anger over these words sent to me by an acquaintance. the rest of the letter suggested that instead of moaning about the hatred shown us I should be helping other abuse survivors. Huh? Like I told them, excuse me, I spend time every day listening to and reply to other survivors. I have raised money. I do all I can. 

 It seems that because I refuse to lay down and cry, I get kicked for it. i think people like this think we should just disappear. I am still reeling from this email. it seems my status about people who resent us offended them and then they wrote this in their defence and saying I was unfair. 

One, they are exactly like that and two I had no idea they thought this and 3 I was not addressing them. 

I did not deserve this. I am glad though I found out before we became close. There was more resentment and hatred in the message but no need to go there. I am not even sure what the rest of it was about. 

 Why should I have to justify myself? Why should I have to tell anyone the little I have above? that isn't the whole story either, but I am not prepared to go into more detail about my diseases and its affects upon me. 

I choose to do the best I can. I could have chosen to give up and be more of drain on the public purse. Oh and John has paid his full whack of tax all of his wife and he too has never claimed any sort of benefit. And I am almost certain he has paid more tax than the person who wrote this to me. 

 Strangers writing like that to me I can dismiss or just feel annoyed and let it go. to have someone I have shown nothing but good will to is really very hurtful and I am royally pisssed off that I let it hurt me. Oh, i can easily think they are having a hard time and chose to lash out at me but this type of thing cannot be taken back. 

 I now wonder how many of my friends think the same way? People who know me only have to look at my face to know how I am. Why it is easier to say we are lying? Why is it easier to mock us? To disaprage us? What sort of person wants to? 

It really is no different to being racist. Just because someone happens to see one of 0.8% on disability who are not qualified for it, tehy classify all of us the same-spongers. This is just like seeing a black person shoplifting and from then on deciding all black people steal. What really really hurts though is that the enormous effort I have to put into having a life instead of being applauded, as the Right are alwauys quick to point out, the admire people who fight for it, yet not me and my kind. No they hate us and throw our grit and determination in our faces. Don't tell me the above quote written is not hate. Of course it is. It oozes resentment wirth every word and I did nothing to deserve that.


Iris said...

If people who say, write and feel the things you mention had to deal with half of what you do on a daily basis, they'd curl up into little balls and never uncurl. The funny thing is, if you did NOT do the dog shows or all the other things you do, whether assisted, or otherwise, they'd find something else proclaim their great superiority and vast knowledge over. What's the term for these people? Oh, yes, I remember: Blowhards.

Unknown said...

The people who feel they have to belittle others are not worth the time nor effort to respond to. Don't get angry or frustrated with them - that empowers them and you've spent too many years learning to empower yourself to lose ground for Iris' term "blowhards".

Of course this is a "do as I say not as I do" moment. I'm trying too.

joannamauselina said...

There are jerks everywhere. All one can do is ignore them, difficult though that may be.