Wednesday, July 20, 2011

IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS

I write this sitting in my new armchair which arrived today. In fact two of them did. They are electric recliners.

I am astonished by how comfortable I am and how uncomfortable I was before. I find it very difficult to keep still because of pain. I fidget, get up and down, move around. I have already stayed put in this chair for far longer than I ever have on anything else, except my car seat.

Our minds and bodies are amazing. Or maybe it is my ability to disassociate?

My disease started when I was in my 20’s, the mid 80’s. It was gradual and I adapted WITHOUT REALISING there was a problem. John knew I had a problem long before I did but even he didn’t notice straight away.

Anyway, the point I am making is that often one does not know one is suffering until it stops. For example, the sort of pain I have is not acute like breaking a leg. It is more like a constant tooth ache which grows in intensity. I am so used to it that I had to be told to take my drugs. John and friends would notice long before I did that I had gone white and confused. I’d take the drugs and when they work I am shocked at how much pain I was in!

I am having a very similar experience right now. I am shocked at 1. how uncomfortable my previous seating arrangement was and 2. how bad it was posturally. (Spell check says Posturally is not a word. It ought to be.)

Once again I feel extremely fortunate to have been able to get these chairs. I normally cannot go out and spend this amount but fortune smiled on me last week and I wondered how to use it: on taking care of myself.

John says he is perfectly happy with his normal armchair. Ashley, the man who owns the disability warehouse, bet me that within 24 hours John will be using the other one!

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