Monday, May 09, 2011


It has been an interesting week. I lost the plot a little bit over the finding of a home for Waldo. I allowed my fear that he would not find a suitable home to override my sensibilities. I know that my puppies will always find the right home. They always have so I see no reason why they will not continue to do so.

I find it very difficult to believe that things are “meant to be”. The reason for this is that if we do believe that things are meant to be then we must also apply that to the horrendous things that happen to people. Thus I cannot accept this “meant to be” proposition.

However, all attempts to part with Waldo came to nothing. Unbeknownst to me there was a mother and father with a severely disabled daughter who had just decided it was time for them to replace their Lhasa Apso that had died some time ago. They called me and they knew and I knew that Waldo was just the right dog for them. When they arrived Waldo would not leave them alone particularly the man whom he sat in front of for the whole visit. He very happily went home with them.

I had not intended to part with Winston but I made up my mind to do so when I bathed him last Wednesday as he physically was not going to be satisfactory for future breeding and showing. On Saturday I had a telephone call from a man who had clearly done a lot of research into getting a dog and deciding upon a Lhasa Apso. He asked me all the right questions and he was not after a puppy straightaway because he wanted to make sure that he got one from the right person and got the right dog.

They came to visit me and spent almost 3 hours with me and it became clear during that time that Winston was absolutely ideal for this family which was a mother and father and an autistic son. Winston was very drawn to the son. As a matter of fact so was Whitney who jumped up and sat by him and did not move she seemed very aware that this was a child and a special child.

Winston will be going to live with this family on Tuesday evening.

It does seem very strange to me that both of my puppies have gone to live with people that have special needs and who also were much better off having older puppies than eight week old ones. Winston and Waldo fitted the bill exactly.

Yes, I can clearly see that many coincidences over the last few months have led to this situation. And yes of course it does make one wonder just how coincidental it all was or was it part of some spiritual engineering?

The story of Winston and Waldo is certainly not unique to me. I can tell many stories where coincidences have led to very happy conclusions. In fact one of my so-called coincidences completely altered my life and that particular incident even today seems like it was engineered to happen exactly the way it did which triggered something in me which needed to be expressed and understood. As a result of this I was able to shed the shit I had been carrying with me but had been unaware that I was.

We all hear stories of people who were booked on an aeroplane that crashed and for some reason or other they did not get on the aeroplane. Happy coincidence. Yet there are also people who were on that very plane also by coincidence.

I think there are still so many questions in life. As mad as I appear to be I think many of these questions will not be answered until we have left our bodies. Until we have died, if you prefer.

Regular readers of my blog will know that I am not at all religious. I do however strongly believe that our consciousness survives death. I see this as a matter of fact. I see it as part of our make up. As much a part of us as our hands and feet our brains are digestive system. What I am trying to convey is that I think that it is a natural occurrence and not a miracle. The fact that our consciousnesses survived death does not mean that there is a God who orchestrates everything. Do not misunderstand me I am not saying that there is no God all I am saying is that I have no evidence of one. I do however have much evidence of the survival of consciousness after physical death. Rather than seeing this as some sort of airy fairy spiritual thing I guess I view it in a more scientific way and just see it as something that is completely natural and part of humankind and I think one day science will come to view it this way also instead of the ridicule it heaps upon the idea today.

Going back to Winston and Waldo; it does indeed seem to me that the fact that they were available at just the right time and are just the right age to go off and be the pet’s of people with special needs, was somehow orchestrated. Especially when one considers how close Waldo came several times to being sold. And the fact that within three days of me deciding that I would not be keeping Winston the other special needs home arrived.

Okay I think I am probably waffling now and I think you get the point of what I’m trying to say. I am not saying anything sure. My mind is open enough that I might well believe that this was “meant to be”.I just don’t know. My gut instinct goes with the “meant to be” explanation. I just do not understand it and the implications of it could be very disturbing.

I know that I am the person I am today because of my past. Today I am happy and content and glad to be alive and glad to be who I am. I got here because of my past. How I interpreted my experiences and how I came to reinterpret those experiences so that I could break free of the chains of the past that held me firmly to it. So whilst I am extremely grateful for who I am today and what I have and can see that there appears to have been a guide all the way through the process I balk at the idea that I was meant to be abused. That does not make sense because if we believe that then we must believe that the users of children or adults are also just following some divine plan.This cannot be so.

I do not reject the idea out of hand that opportunities are somehow given to us, that we are guided by an intelligence that we are unaware of. However it is not something I can understand because I cannot see how if things are “meant to be” then it includes the horrendous stuff too. Therefore I must just leave this open because I cannot think of another way to satisfactorily explain what I experience and what others experience. Perhaps one day the understanding will come whilst I am still in the body!

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