Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I Was Promised 10"

I am most disappointed. The weather man promised me 10" and all I got was about 1"! Still better than nothing, I guess. I just love snow.

This is my new Aran. Decided I didn't like the previous one so i frogged it and came up with this one instead. Much prefer it. Haven't yet decided if it will be a modified drop or a raglan....

These are Nechung's pups, the hand reared ones, now 5 weeks old. The first two are girls. Below are Finty's 6 pups that are 23 days old. There are 7 photo's cos I couldn't resist the first one!

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

dark nights

If you look carefully you will see there are 6 puppies, 4 girls and 2 boys. They were born between 5 and 6am Monday Dec 5th. Very quick, trouble free birth. Not bad for a first time mum.

I finally got to bed last night, but it did not go well. Nigthmares about the past again. Okay, so they are not so frequent now but really this shit never goes away. I don't really know what i dreamed of but it wasn't nice and I awoke sweating and cold and had to put the light on and leave it on. Whatever I dreamed of caused me to think of a traumatic police interview I went thru about 10 years ago. I had to sit and tell a perfect stranger, a police man, what a teacher had done to me. This teacher was a child pornographer. Now I had never told anyone this stuff, just my therapist. Not even my partner. So here i was feeling completley unsafe and humiliated having to tell my story, in intimate detail, to this policemen, of whom i was afraid anyway. At the end of it all, he told me that i would not be called as a witness as I had no credibilty. I thought he was telling me he thought I was lying. No he said, he knew I wasn't lying. But because I had a breakdown and spent time in hospital, I would not be considered a credible witness by the courts. So, folks, if you are going to abuse a child, make sure you damage them plenty so they can't testify against you. I never did find out anything about this : is the guy still out there abusing children? Is he dead? He must be quite old now. Are his films and photo's plastered on sick net sites? Are people getting their jollies looking at me being abused? That bothers me tho I mostly am successful in not thinking about it.
One thing I am successful at tho is having a good, happy and productive life. They didn't destroy me. They tried to, my father in particular, who couldn't stomach my good nature. I was a source of shame for him. How could he have produced this child who wasn't agressive, who didn't want to be like him? Who saw his father for what he was? How that must have enraged him! He kept going on and on about being a man. Real men beat up and bully defenceless children it seems. A man to be pitied. He lost so much.

Sunday, December 04, 2005


These are 10 days old. Bottle reared. Mum has no milk. We have 1 boy and 1 girl that are dark sable and the two lighter ones are also 1 boy and 1 girl.
They are fed every two hours with a milk formula. Mum is looking after them well, so at least I don't have to lick them to make them poo and pee!
Two hours between feeds goes very quickly.
They now weigh 11oz, 120z, 13oz and 14oz! The boys are the heaviest. They have also now go to the stage when they start to crawl toward me as soon as I open up their varikennel. Very quiet and content pups. Mum is excellent and doesn't mind me intefering at all. This is her last ever litter and she will be speyed now and live the rest of her life on my bed.
This litter combines the best American/French and British lines. Hopefully, I will have something good to keep from these.