Thursday, August 06, 2015

IT IS OKAY TO HONOUR ONE' SELF

Well I don't think I shall ask for your help to go to sleep again!
I woke up at 1:15 PM! But I did sleep soundly and it was only six hours.
John's home today and I can't wait. I love my time on my own because I can do as I please without having to think about him. This entails watching what I want on the DVD player or on Amazon prime and I can also have the music volume as high as I like. I have not lost the taste for my music to be allowed since I was a teenager. We are not talking heavy metal here. No. We are talking female folk singers and male folk singers and things like tangerine dream and Mike Oldfield. I just think they'll sound better loud.
This last few days have got me thinking about the theme which many of you have shared with me: that I should honour myself. Now for a British person this is really difficult because you on other people you hold them in high esteem usually because they have done something great.
Honouring myself seems not quite right. These last three days which are now over and done with have maybe shown me something different.
I am not at all sure about the honouring part that I certainly see that I really need to give myself credit for all that I have done to get to where I am now. I deserve to recognise that feat that I have accomplished regardless of what others might think. I only truly know what I went through and how the recovery process has been excruciating. Yet I am here and spiritually intact and my personality was not crushed. I do deserve credit for this and I deserve my own credit. I have been so hard on myself and was never able to accept compliments or the idea that I have done something remarkable. But I have done something remarkable and I did not have a whole team of experts behind me. I have the loving support of my husband and some friends who are no longer in my life and I'm beginning to see that that is meant to be.
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